


An Aftertaste Like Grains of Sand

by Scribomaniac



Series: Broken Bridges [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Adoption, Angst, Childhood, Drama, Family, Gen, Hurt, Jakku, Kinda, Origin Story, abadoment, how rey ended up on jakku, implied reylo relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-01-13
Packaged: 2018-05-13 09:01:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5702683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scribomaniac/pseuds/Scribomaniac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke did't want to do this.  He didn't want to leave Rey on the desolate planet of Jakku, but he knew it was for the best.  If Ben really did fall to the Dark Side, he'd take Rey down with him.  She was too good, too pure, too Light.  The fall would destroy her.    So he hid her away.  Not long.  Just until it was safe for her again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. To Take Away a Life

It was supposed to be temporary.  At least, that’s what Luke kept telling himself as he piloted the cruiser ship to Jakku with Rey, his seven year old daughter, asleep in the co-pilot chair.  She’d been so excited at the prospect of seeing a new planet, of seeing the stars, and practicing her piloting skills.  Even though she wasn’t a Skywalker by blood, she sure picked up the skills the family was known for easily enough.  It even made some people doubt whether or not she was actually adopted or Luke’s accidental offspring that he was too ashamed to own up to. 

Looking over at his daughter, he felt a twinge of guilt flare up in his heart followed by a spike of fear that struck down his spine.  He didn’t want to do this.  He didn’t want to be separated from Rey, but it was for her own good, especially if what he’d been sensing in the Force was right.  He’d sensed a disturbance lately, sensed that the Dark Side was growing stronger again and would strike soon.  If Luke was being honest with himself, he worried that the Dark Side would once again rise up in the form of a Skywalker, and that it was his own nephew, Ben, that was in danger of turning from the Light.  The thought terrified him.  Hopefully he’d have time to properly assess the situation, and pull Ben back from the brink, once he returned to Lothal. 

Luke feared what would happen if Ben turned to the Dark Side.  Not only for his, Ben’s, sake, but for Rey’s as well.  It was the reason behind this journey, after all.  They had grown so attached to one another, so dependent.  Too dependent, really.  It’d been worrying Luke for some time now.  They hated being apart from one another for more than a day.  It was a wonder that he’d even been able to persuade Rey to come along on the trip.  Then again, Ben had been gone from the Academy for almost a whole Lothalian day already—something about going on a meditative retreat—so maybe the situation wasn’t as dire as Luke feared. 

Better to be safe than sorry, though.  If Ben _was_ to fall to the Dark Side, Luke didn’t want Rey falling along with him.  She was too good, too pure, too Light.  The fall would destroy her.  So Luke took Rey off Lothal and flew off to one of the most overlooked and remote planets in the galaxy.  He planned on leaving her there— _hiding_ her there—for a few days—weeks, maybe—at most.  Just until he got everything under control.

Soon their intended destination came into view and Luke reached over to wake his daughter.  “Rey,” he said softly and gently shook her shoulder, “Rey, dear, it’s time to wake up.”

Rey mumbled a bit before rubbing her eyes awake.  After a few blinks, she noticed what was outside the ship and sprung to life.  Readjusting so she was sitting on her knees, Rey began to bounce with undiluted excitement.  “Is that it?  Is that it?” She asked, rapidly turning her head between looking at the planet and her father.

Luke laughed, “Yes, Rey, that’s it.  That’s Jakku.”  He flipped a few switches, turned a few knobs, and pressed a few buttons to engage the ship’s autopilot.  “Now come over here, dear,” he patted to his lap, “I need to fix your hair.”

Rey hopped off her own seat and jumped onto Luke’s lap, situating herself so he’d have easy access to her hair.  “Ben’s gonna be so jealous!”  She exclaimed, glancing at Jakku out of the corner of her eye.  Luke merely hummed, and pulled out one of her buns and began to re-twist and tie it.  “He’s always talking about seeing other parts of the galaxy!  He said grandfather saw a whole bunch a planets when he was a Jedi.  That back then the Jedi used to be really, really spread out in the galaxy.”

“That’s true,” Luke agreed, finishing with the second bun.  Rey always wore three buns in her hair, ever since she came to live at the Jedi Academy three years ago.  Leia was the one who gave the youngling her signature look.  It was a simple style—for which Luke was forever thankful, considering how he was the one usually doing Rey’s hair—that kept her hair out of her face when she trained with practice sabers and Luke suspected it was an homage to her, Leia’s, hair style from way back when they first met on the Death Star. 

“And Ben really, really wants to be like grandfather!  He says he’ll get strong, just like him, so that he can protect us.  And that together, we’ll be even more powerful!”  Rey finished with a nod that almost undid all of Luke’s efforts in tying the last bun.

“I’m sure Ben will be a very powerful Jedi, dear one, as will you,” he squeezed her shoulders.  “But what dangers does he need to protect you from?”  He asked, curious.

“I don’t know,” Rey told him, her nose scrunching up in thought.  “Bad guys, I guess,” she decided with a shrug.

Shaking his head at her innocence, Luke picked her up and placed her back in the co-pilot seat, “Well I hope that works out for the two of you,” he said off-handedly, “but in the meantime would you like to help me land this ship?”

Rey nodded vigorously and immediately set her attention to the task at hand.  Luke guided her through the steps, telling her what to do and when to do it.  Like most things, Rey picked it up like she’d been landing ships for centuries, and after a few minutes even began pre-empting Luke’s instructions and completing them with no prompting at all.  Landing just outside the Niima Outpost, Luke powered the ship down and asked, “Ready?”

“Yup!” Rey chirped and led their way out of the ship and down to the sand.  “Whoa!”  She exclaimed, bending over to pile some sand into her hands and watch as it seeped through the cracks.  Laughing, she turned to her father and raised the still leaking sand up high for him to see.  “Look, father!  Isn’t this amazing?  I’ve never seen so much sand in my life!”

Smiling, Luke patted her on the head, “Yes, it has that in common with Tatooine.  Now, hurry up, Rey, or we’ll be late for our appointment.”

Following immediately, Rey asked, “Do you miss it?”

“Miss what?”

“Tatooine?  It’s your home planet, right?”

“Sometimes,” Luke said slowly.  “I miss the people more, though,” he told her sadly.

Feeling his melancholy through the Force, Rey pursued her lips and grabbed onto his hand, hoping that might cheer him up.  Luke looked down at their hands and smiled, but to Rey he didn’t seem any happier.  If anything, he seemed even sadder.  Assuming it was something adults claimed she’d ‘understand later’, Rey let the matter drop and focused instead on her legs which were walking awkwardly in the sand.

Luke squeezed his daughter’s hand tightly as they approached the hut where Unkar Plutt doled out rations to the scavengers.  The Blobfish gave them a suspicious stare, but with a nod of Luke’s head, closed up shop and walked out to speak face to face.  “What’s the likes of you doing all the way out here, Jedi?  Thought you were teaching some younglings,” he gazed down at Rey and sneered.  “What’d you bring one of them here for?”

“This is my daughter, Rey.  Rey this ahh—man’s name is Unkar Plutt.  He’ll be looking after you for a little while.”

“What?”  Rey asked, her brows furrowing with confusion.  “Where are you going?”

Bending down so Luke was on eye level with her, he placed his hands on her shoulders, “I’ve got to take care of a few things, Rey, but I’ll be back.  _I promise_.”  

“No, No!  Don’t go!” She begged, panic shining bright behind her eyes.

“Rey,” he tried again, “there’s something important I’ve got to do, and I can’t do it without knowing you’re _safe_.”   

“What makes you think _I’ll_ take care of her?”  Unkar spat out, rubbing one of his chins with a meaty hand. 

Standing back up and ignoring Rey’s small cries, Luke waved his hand in front of Unkar’s face, “You _will_ take care of Rey.  You _will_ make sure she survives.”  Luke pulled out a small bag from the folds of his cloak and placed it into Unkar’s hand.  “That will be enough to cover her expenses for a year, Unkar, and believe me, she _will not_ be here that long.”

Unkar repeated the instructions slowly. His eyes had glazed over and it took some time, and several blinks, before he seemed himself again.  “Suit yourself, Jedi,” he growled before waddling to the side.  “Best get your goodbyes over and done with, then.”

Luke pulled Rey to the side, bent down again and enveloped her in a hug, “Listen to me, Rey.  I will return for you, I promise, but before then you have to be a good girl for me, okay?  Be a good girl and wait for me.  Be patient, and I promise I’ll come back.”  Pulling back, Luke gave her a wobbly smile and wiped away some of her tears.  He pressed his hand against the side of her cheek and felt his guilt rise up again with the knowledge of what he was about to do next. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered before pushing into her mind and trapping away all her memories of the Jedi Academy, all memories of her training, all memories of the Force, everyone’s names, even.  Still, he couldn’t take everything away from her, he just couldn’t do it, so he left the stories.  Stories that would be like a small seed of hope within her mind. He was crippling her, he knew, but he also knew how easy it would be for Ben to find her if her force signature was left unchecked.  And what would be the point of taking Rey out here, of leaving her on this desolate planet all alone, if Ben could track her down as easily as he could find his own leg?  It’d all be for naught, then.

Rey had screamed at first, drawing very little attention within the Jakku community, but had tapered off to whimpering after just a few seconds.  “Shh, shh,” Luke tried to comfort her by pulling her into another hug.  “It’ll all be okay.  _I promise_.”

Standing up again, Luke waved a hand before Unkar once more and said, “You will never speak to her about the Jedi.”

“I will never speak to her about the Jedi,” Unkar repeated slowly, then shook his head and placed a giant hand on Rey’s small shoulder.  “Well go on then,” he jeered, “if you really are leaving her here, you’d better get to it.”

Luke’s breath caught in his chest, but he knew Unkar was right.  He had to leave now or he never would.  He’d undo all his planning and bring Rey home with him.  Nodding once to steel himself, Luke turned and began to walk back to his ship.

“No!” He heard Rey scream behind him.  His steps faltered.  “No, _don’t leave!_ ”

“Be quiet, girl,” Unkar snapped.

“ _No! Come back!_ ” She yelled again, but Luke had steeled his heart and continued on.  His mouth was dry and grainy and his body felt sick, like some disease had invaded it, but he refused to stop moving.  He made it all the way back to the cock pit of his ship, started it back up, and flew it into space before he realized he was crying, but by then it was too late to change his mind.  What was done was done, and Luke could only hope that he was wrong about Ben and that the two of them would mend their broken bridge and return for Rey.  Together.


	2. One Step at a Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He needed to move, needed to do something. He couldn’t just sit around and mope like Luke seemed so willing to do. He knew Leia was right. They couldn’t rely on Rey to bring their son back to the Light Side, but that didn’t mean he could sit back and leave her on some ‘desert waste planet’ when it was fully in his power to find her and bring her home. If nothing else, Han could do that.

It was a beautiful day on Yavin 4 when Luke Skywalker landed on the planet, but the good weather only felt like salt to the wound.  Luke could feel the turmoil in the Force.  It was still reeling from the crimes Ben had committed and the sharp, painful memories that were seared in Luke’s head scalded his mind once again, causing his muscles to tighten up and saliva to over flood his mouth.  All those younglings . . . slaughtered.  Luke felt the bile rise up in his throat, but he fought down the sickness.  He had to tell Leia and Han what had happened on Lothal.  What had happened to their son.

Exiting the ship he’d escaped on, Luke was suddenly overcome with gratitude that Leia was also Force sensitive when he saw her running up to him, Han following closely behind.  “Luke!”  She called out, pulling his arm around her shoulder when she noticed how unsteady he was on his feet, “Luke, what happened?”

Luke merely shook his head, still too much in shock to speak.  Han and Leia exchanged glances before Han grabbed Luke’s other arm and the two of them towed him away from the landing paddock and towards their home.  It took some time and much effort on Luke’s part, but eventually they arrived at the Organa-Solo home and Luke wasted no time finding a chair to collapse in.

“Master Luke!”  C-3PO exclaimed with as much delight as a droid could, “What a lovely surprise it is to see you again.  I do hope all is well with the Academy.  R2 was just mentioning the other day that we should visit Lothal and yourself.  I’m afraid he’s getting delusions of grandeur again.  He keeps going on about how much you need him, but I keep trying to tell him that—”

“3PO,” Han cut him off, “Shut up and get Luke something to drink, would ya?”

“Oh, of course!  Where _are_ my manners?”  C-3PO hurried off into the kitchen, mumbling to himself about needing a tune up on proper etiquette as he went.

“Luke,” Leia said softly, bending down in front of her brother to try and engage him in eye contact.  “What’s happened?”

“Yeah, kid,” Han added, “Leia all but passed out last night.  What gives?”

Luke swallowed thickly, unsure where to start.  Tears clouded his eyes.  This was worse than when he discovered the truth about Darth Vader.  So, so much worse.  “It’s Ben,” he choked out.  Leia sucked in a gasp, but didn’t say anything.  She waited for Luke to continue.

“What happened?” Han asked solemnly, not sure what to expect.

“He—he, oh god, he killed them all,” tremors wracked Luke’s body and he wrapped his arms around his slim frame.  “I couldn’t stop him,” he continued, “he’s fallen to the Dark Side.  The First Order—Knights of Ren—or something—” a hysterical laugh escaped his lips before he could stop it.  “There were so many of them.  I couldn’t—I couldn’t—”

“Luke, kid . . .” Han began, but didn’t know what to say.  His mind was still processing the information.  “I don’t understand,” he said simply.

“Luke,” Leia said, placing her hand on Luke’s shoulders, “I need you to calm down.  I need you to tell me everything that happened.”

Looking into his sister’s eyes, Luke told her.  He explained that the Knights came in the middle of the night and attacked the Academy.  He told her how he tried to save as many Padawans as he could, but that, in the end, he couldn’t save anyone.  He told her how Ben had been the one leading the ambush. How Luke had suspected that the Dark Side had been tempting Ben, but hadn't noticed his actual descent into it.

“I’ve failed,” he sobbed.  “I’ve failed you all.”

“No, Luke,” Leia consoled, brushing away some tears, “it’s not you that’s failed.”

Han grimaced and looked away from the siblings, scratching the back of his neck.  Then, suddenly, his head snapped back and he asked, “What about Rey?”

Leia stopped breathing for a moment and waited for her brother’s response.  Luke shook his head, “She’s safe.  She wasn’t on Lothal when the attack happened.”

Some tension in the room lessened and Luke noticed the drink on the table next to him.  C-3PO must have returned when he was explaining earlier without him noticing.  Luke scorned himself, some Jedi he was.  He didn’t even sense the droid.

“Well then where is she?”  Han continued, but Luke just shook his head again.  “ _Luke_ ,” he said sharply, “Where is she?”

“ _Where is she?_ ” Ben’s voice, so full of rage, echoed in Luke’s mind and he recalled so clearly the desperation in his nephew’s eyes.

“I can’t,” Luke whispered, broken.

“You can’t what?”  Leia asked, applying more pressure to her brother’s shoulders.  “Luke, tell me,” she commanded again.

Unable to deny a direct command from the once Princess of Alderaan herself, Luke said, “I can’t tell you.  She’s—she’s safer where she is.  Ben, he—he became _obsessed_ with her,” he explained, “I had to hide her away.”

“Where, Luke?”  Han asked again, taking a threatening step forward.

“Somewhere _safe_ ,” he repeated, “somewhere Ben can’t find her.”

“She’ll be safe with us,” Han pressed, looking to Leia for help.  “Leia, tell him.”

Leia barely had a chance to open her mouth, though, before Luke shouted, “Don’t you understand?  Ben will stop at nothing to track her down!  I barely got her away in time!  If I hadn’t left her out there when I did, she’d—she’d be,” he made an unintelligible noise.  “I can’t protect her from him!  I couldn’t protect any of them from him!  She’s better off on a desert wasteland than with me right now!”

“So what?” Han asked, “You’ve just abandoned her?  You really think that’s what’s best for her?  Maybe—maybe, I don’t know—maybe she can bring Ben back.  Maybe we can fix this.”  Han’s eyes, which were so full of hope and desperation, silently begged Luke to tell him where Rey was hidden.

“No,” Leia said, surprising both men in the room.  “Rey can’t help Ben, not now.”

“What?  How can you say that?”

“I can just feel it,” she told him simply, silently begging him to understand.

Han’s nostrils flared, “So what?” he asked again, “You want to just give up on Ben, then?  On Rey?”

“No!”  Leia shook her head violently, “Of course not, but we can’t rely on a little girl to—”

“We also can’t just leave that little girl to rot on some planet all by herself!”  Han sneered.  “And if you won’t help me find her, then I’ll do it myself!”  He didn’t wait for a response.  Han turned heel and stormed out of his home, towards the landing paddock once more.  “Chewie!” He called over his shoulder, knowing his friend and co-pilot wasn’t far.  After hearing Chewbacca’s responding growl, he continued, “Hurry up!  We’re going on a trip!”

Han knew that leaving right now, when he was angry, wasn’t the smartest move in the galaxy, but he couldn’t stay in that house for another second.  He needed to move, needed to do something.  He couldn’t just sit around and mope like Luke seemed so willing to do.  He knew Leia was right.  They couldn’t rely on Rey to bring their son back to the Light Side, but that didn’t mean he could sit back and leave her on some ‘ _desert waste planet_ ’ when it was fully within his power to find her and bring her home.  If nothing else, Han could do that.

Soon enough, Chewie and he were in the Millennium Falcon and taking off from Yavin 4.  There were only so many desert planets—most were in the outer rim—that Rey could be on.  Han knew he could rule Tatooine out.  If Luke really did want to hide Rey, his home planet would’ve been too obvious a choice.  They started with Anoat, followed by Anoth, then Geonosis, Nkllon, N’zoth—though Han hoped that Luke hadn’t been desperate enough to leave Rey _there_ —before they finally reached Jakku.

“This place sure makes Tatooine look like an oasis, huh?”  Han asked Chewie as they flew over what looked like a graveyard of ships from the days of the Empire.  Chewie whined in response. “Yes, that’s including the incident with Jabba,” he rolled his eyes, “You ever gonna let me live that down?”

With a shake of his head, Chewie roared a negative.

“Great,” Han said dryly, his lips twitching up with a hint of a smile.  He had a good feeling about this place.  If he didn’t know any better, he’d say it was the Force making him feel that way.  They landed the Millennium Falcon a few meters away from the city called Cratertown—if you could even call it a city—and walked towards the battered looking commune.

The two of them walked through the town, asking anyone and everyone about Rey.  Most people didn’t understand the language of the Wookiees, and seemed untrusting of Chewie’s cries and size, but Han didn’t let their suspicions deter him.  He went to everyone asking about Rey, giving her physical description, age, and character.  He didn’t mention Luke or the Force though, just in case there were any First Order spies in the area. 

By the time the sun began to set, Han was sure he’d seen and spoken to every villager in Cratertown—even the droids and younglings.  Chewie moaned lowly, discouraged.  “Hey,” Han said stubbornly.  “We’re not done, yet.  We still have a whole planet to scour for her.  We’ve only just started.”  They started walking back to where they left the Falcon, “Maybe we should try that Outpost next?  What was it called?”

Chewie roared.

“Niima, right.  We’ll check there next.”

They walked a little father until they reached the spot they’d landed the Falcon and Han stepped dead in his tracks.  “Chewie,” he asked slowly “wasn’t this where we left the Falcon?”

Looking left, then right, then spinning in a circle, Chewie nodded and roared with confusion as well.  “Well _I_ didn’t move it!”  Han responded.  He walked a bit farther until he saw the divots in the sand that the Falcon had left.  Violently kicking at the mound of sand, Han yelled, “Dammit, someone stole her!”  He began to kick more and more sand in his anger, unable to stop himself until he kicked a mound so hard he lost his balance and fell onto his back side. 

“Dammit, dammit, _dammit!_ ”  Han cried out, looking up at the sky as if it was to blame for his rotten luck.  Chewie walked over and sat next to him, putting an arm around Han’s shoulders with a soft purr.  “It _is_ my fault, buddy.”  Han said in a deprecating tone.  “I should’ve been there for him more.  I should’ve checked in on him.  Instead I just . . . gave him up without as much as a fight, and now . . . _now_ I can’t save anyone.”

Han’s head fell back down, his chin pressing painfully into his chest.  “Dammit,” he whispered again softly.  Chewie cried out softly, unsure how to comfort his friend.  He felt just as powerless, if not more so.  The two friends stayed like that for the rest of the night, too emotionally exhausted to move.  When the sun finally began to rise over the horizon, Chewie softly prodded Han with his clawed hand. 

“No, buddy,” Han said sadly.  “How are we gonna find Rey now?  We don’t even have a ship.”

Chewie roared angrily, shoving his friend down into the sand.  Han turned over so he was lying on his back and stared up at the sky again.  He mulled over Chewie’s words for a few moments.  Chewie cried out again, growing impatient.  A small spark glinted in Han’s eyes, “Yeah, yeah okay,” he said slowly.  Standing up, he brushed the sand off his clothes, “That’s what we’ll do Chewie.  We’ll steal back the Falcon, _then_ we’ll find Rey.”

Chewie roared with excitement and sprung up to his feet.  The two friends walked back towards Cratertown with a renewed determination.  They would take everything one step at a time.  First find the Falcon, then Rey, then bring Ben back to their side.  One step at a time.  They could do that.  Even if it was the last thing they did, they’d do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I hope you enjoyed and kudos/comments/whatever are always appreciated! The next installment of Broken Bridges will be a Kylo Ren POV piece about his search for Rey (and it's gonna be angstyyyy~)

**Author's Note:**

> Here's that Luke POV story I was talking about! Hope you all enjoyed it. Once again, comments/kudos/whatever are always (always) appreciated. 
> 
> I couldn't remember the exact wording of bb Rey from the flashback nor could I find a video, so if anyone has that info on hand knows it please let me know so I can edit that part.
> 
> I think my next project will be either how the Millennium Falcon ended up on Jakku (Chapter 2 to this story, btw) or, more broadly, how Han lost it (it'll be angsty!) OR maybe a brief snippet of Ben/Kylo trying to find Rey (so, like, pre-tfa and also angsty!)
> 
> Eventually I'll get to simultaneous/post tfa (eventually)
> 
> ALSO: If anyone has any prompt they'd like me to do, I think it'd be really effing cool so just hit me up! I've never really done a requested prompt before. (Just so long as its SFW, we're good).
> 
> If anyone wants to read some original crap by me I go by the same name on fictionpress(dot)com or you could take a gander at my tumblr: hammiesworkshop
> 
> Cool. Cool, cool, cool.


End file.
